Mother's Day Musing
Being a daughter is a thread that connects all women. Not every woman is a mother but we all had one. That is what makes Mother's Day so special -- each of us has a relationship upon which to reflect -- it is a celebration of happy moments and childhood memories or, for some, broken dreams and stolen hope. No matter who she was to us, we all cloak ourselves in a tapestry of lessons learned from our mother.
I'm blessed to say that I have a lovely mother. My favorite thing about her is her adventurous spirit. She has traveled the globe from Nairobi to Beijing -- nothing stops her. It was a trait I didn't associate with her until my adult life. By then she was so much more liberated. I admire her tenacity at a time when so many people begin looking back she forged ahead in search of new discoveries and profound experiences. In no small way her courage to take life head on in her middle age served as inspiration for me to write this blog.
Nikki Giovanni spoke for every daughter when she penned "Mothers." She likely wrote the poem before I was a twinkle in my parent's eye, yet, like all daughters, she understood me.
Excerpt from Mothers
...i remember the first time
i consciously saw her
we were living in a three room
apartment on burns avenue
mommy always sat in the dark
i don’t know how i knew that but she did
...i’m sure i just hung there by the door
i remember thinking: what a beautiful lady
she was very deliberately waiting
perhaps for my father to come home
from his night job or maybe for a dream
that had promised to come by
“come here” she said “i’ll teach you
a poem: i see the moon
the moon sees me
god bless the moon
and god bless me”
i taught it to my son
who recited it for her
just to say we must learn
to bear the pleasures
as we have borne the pains
As daughters, no matter your home life growing up, we relate on a primal level. We each bear the instinct to seek love from our mother.
This is my favorite picture of my grandmother and my daughter from years ago. "Little Mama" had whipped cream on her face and Nana gave her a kiss so they could share a milk mustache. We miss Nana but memories like this keep her alive forever in our hearts.
The best part of being a mother is the chance to take the lessons I've learned and provide an even better future for my children than the one that lay before me as a girl. It is a gift we pass on that is as old as human time on earth.
I'm reminded of Langston Hughes' poem Mother to Son. My favorite lines are:
Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
...So boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
Happy Mother's Day!
Click the blue text to read the full poem and learn more about the poets featured in this post.